poire_gourmande (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
poire_gourmande) wrote2013-03-04 09:58 am
poire_gourmande) wrote2013-03-04 09:58 am
Entry tags:
I'm back + Writing exercise 1 - Do you love me?
So, I’m trying to improve my writing because Bobby convince me I could write a novel, and I’m gonna start posting some original fiction - writing exercises or short stories. I'm also back to reading my friend list because I did a huge purge of everything that bored me on it.
Concrit on my writing is much appreciated.
This one is from a prompt I found online, “Do you love me?”
Word count: 231
Rating: PG
”Do you love me?”
She had the brillant idea to ask me this while I was driving - not the best time for a lenghty reflexion about the nature of love and the nature of my feelings for her.
I kept my eyes on the road, pretending to be absorbed in switching lanes or something.
“Of course I do, baby, you know that,” I said distractedly, trying to defuse the bomb.
“Well, you never tell me!”
“I tell you all the time!” I chuckled defensively, trying to remember the last time I told her.
But she was right. I couldn’t remember saying I loved her a single time.
The truth is, I didn’t really know if I loved her. I liked being with her well enough, and we had chemistry, but could I really see myself with her for the next two, five, twenty years?
I tried to imagine myself, twenty years older, with her in her forties, maybe with a couple of kids running around.
And I felt imprisoned. I wanted to run, but I couldn’t. I was stuck in a car going fast on the interstate with her. I was stuck in a life going even faster with her.
And the only thought inside my mind was how I wouldn’t mind dying in a car accident right then and there.
At least I wouldn’t have to break up with her.
Concrit on my writing is much appreciated.
This one is from a prompt I found online, “Do you love me?”
Word count: 231
Rating: PG
”Do you love me?”
She had the brillant idea to ask me this while I was driving - not the best time for a lenghty reflexion about the nature of love and the nature of my feelings for her.
I kept my eyes on the road, pretending to be absorbed in switching lanes or something.
“Of course I do, baby, you know that,” I said distractedly, trying to defuse the bomb.
“Well, you never tell me!”
“I tell you all the time!” I chuckled defensively, trying to remember the last time I told her.
But she was right. I couldn’t remember saying I loved her a single time.
The truth is, I didn’t really know if I loved her. I liked being with her well enough, and we had chemistry, but could I really see myself with her for the next two, five, twenty years?
I tried to imagine myself, twenty years older, with her in her forties, maybe with a couple of kids running around.
And I felt imprisoned. I wanted to run, but I couldn’t. I was stuck in a car going fast on the interstate with her. I was stuck in a life going even faster with her.
And the only thought inside my mind was how I wouldn’t mind dying in a car accident right then and there.
At least I wouldn’t have to break up with her.
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*break up, no hyphen ;)
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and yeah, i forgot to wake up, this morning XD fixed!