Writing exercise 5 - Home

[poire_gourmande]

Prompt: It had been years since Katherine smelled the saltiness of the sea and heard the squawk of seagulls overheard. But she was home again now…

Word count: 158

Rating: PG

It had been years since Katherine smelled the saltiness of the sea and heard the squawk of seagulls overheard. But she was home again now…

She could see the little blue house at the end of the road, precariously perched at the edge of the cliff, always menacing to fall in, but still standing, after all these years.


She could hear the shouts and laughs of children playing on the beach, their voices carried by the wind.


She could smell all the delicious meals her mother had prepared for her when she heard Katherine was returning home.


She could feel the sea breeze on her skin, a bit too cold, but so refreshing after the crowded, overheated train.


But most of all, she could feel the love and affection this place and its people had for her. She could tell everything and everyone had missed her as much as she had missed them.


That’s what “home” really means.

Comments

[laurymdragon.livejournal.com]

Home <3

seagulls *overhead

[poire-gourmande.livejournal.com]

That was in the prompt, which I copypasted.

[laurymdragon.livejournal.com]

"and heard the squawk of seagulls overheard" becomes repetitive. Something like "a entendu les cris des goélands entendus". Overhead would be "above". You might have to rephrase that sentence :3

[poire-gourmande.livejournal.com]

Ouais non je sais mais le prompt était comme ça a la base.
You do know that constructive criticism =/= just pointing out typos, right?

[laurymdragon.livejournal.com]

I do, but I'm guessing that having nothing else to point out that needs any improvement, I guess I can't make it up?